A Game, a Ball, and a Love

Ah, my first baseball game of 2009. I am filled with excitement as I enter the ballpark and into an atmosphere of the sport I was born loving. My passion is suddenly reignited, as I close my eyes for my senses to soak it all in… the smell of newly cut grass and fresh dirt mixed with the aroma of slow grilled beef and freshly cooked french fries… the taste of roasted peanuts, tickly covered nachos, and melting cotton candy making the perfect combination salty and sweet… the sound of the crack as a wooden bat hits a 95mph fastball, followed by the anticipating roar of the crowd, and finally the laughter of children chasing after a foul ball.

 

   Why has this game stood the test of time to become an ageless American tradition? Why is baseball so captivating, that you can’t help but want to jump to your feet in amazement when a grand slam is hit? What is it about this sport that brings rivals from all walks of life to meet together on a diamond field to try to hit a small ball with a bat?

 

   Is it the amazing adrenaline rush of turning a double play, perfectly performed as if by instinct? Is it the awesome thrill of a strikeout, the perfected precision flawlessly executed? Is it the indescribable exhilaration of stealing second base, beating the pitch to the plate by a nano second? Is it the unexplainable anticipation of the home run, praying the ball will just make it over the wall? Well, the world may never know why we love the game of baseball.

 

   I love baseball because it relates so much to my life. In the game of baseball, we all play different positions, fighting for a spot on the playing field. Yet the truth is, without a ton of hard work during practice, the support of the team, instruction and encouragement from coaches, and our God-given abilities and talents we have no chance of ever playing let alone starting. Ultimately, what matters aren’t the trophies, or awards, or MVPs, or even winning the World Series. What counts is giving your best effort day after day, and leaving the game, knowing that (win or lose) you left it all on the field. What really lives on is leaving a legacy of.... a ball, a game, and a love.

 

Roar of Reality vs. Cry for Truth

As I look back on the last six months and the journey God has brought me through, I can't help but want to go back and experience God and His wonderful love all over again. Because of this, I am often return to my journal from these amazing times in my life. This past weekend, as I was reading entries from late November and December of 08, I was curiously drawn to what was written on Christmas day.

"After spending most of the day laughing, singing, and opening presents, my family thought it would be cool to watch one of the new movies we had received and we immediately agreed on Prince Caspian. I had forgotten how wonderful the story is and how much I always enjoy revisiting the magical land of Narnia. As I am sitting here, the legend of Aslan is no longer just a fairy tale on a screen. Suddenly, I am shoved into this strange charade as a character in the saga myself. For the imaginary world of Narnia is not constricted merely to fantasy but it has become reality."

PRINCE CASPIAN -- 

had greatness "thrust into his lap" in a rather uncomfortable fashion . When the situation became bleak, and those around him were clawing for anything they could grasp onto, what did he trust in? Did he have faith in the one thing he had never seen and merely heard about? Did he really believe? Really trust?

PETER -- 

thought it was his responsibility  to change the circumstances, to change people, to change the world. He believed he was supposed to do this by himself and he concluded that he had to do it on His own. Instead of waiting for Aslan and His timing, Peter went ahead with his own plan as many consequences awaited his decision. While Peter was praying and begging for something, no, anything from Aslan (even a mere sign), Aslan was waiting for Peter to admit he couldn't do it and to put his trust in Him.

SUSAN--

Is seeing believing or is believing seeing? Is it a matter of wanting to see or trusting that He is there? 

Susan's struggle is the battle of inner self: letting her heart believe the impossible, surrendering her soul to trust the unbelievable, allowing herself to act beyond the circumstances of reasons. Susan's mistake was yielding to the hard questions and permitting them to fester into doubts, which ultimately undermined who she knew Alsan was and what she believed He could do. She chose to believe the lie instead of trusting His love.

EDMUND -- 

had learned from his first mistake in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe to trust Aslan. However,did he just sit back, let things run their course, and go along for the ride? What would you have done if the captain was running the ship aground? What if that person was someone you respected, loved. or even viewed as superior to yourself? Did he wait too long to put his foot down? Was there a better way?

LUCY --

had the faith but she let others dictate her actions on their lack of belief, not on her trust. Lucy saw things as reality; not what was supposed to be, or what others saw, or even what they thought should become real. Lucy saw reality as Aslan. So Lucy, what's stopping you? You can't change Peter or Susan, only he can do that. Don't let them stop you! You have Aslan!

ASLAN --

"The more you grow -- the more I grow."

"You have learned all that you can from this place."

"Things never happen the same way twice."

So I have one question for you:

     What was the point of Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy experiencing Narnia if nothing changes in the "real world"?

Footprints in the Cement

Slowly I trudged on, fighting to complete the simple task of placing one foot in front of the other, step after step. Something wasn't right. Here I was strolling to the Opening Bell, a local coffee shop, with some of my closest friends, attempting to enjoy the afternoon, yet all I could do was think about my struggle with reality.

Yesterday, during my time with God, He showed Himself to me in a remarkable personal way by revealing that He loves me unconditionally and unreservedly. Honestly, I couldn't believe His love was that deep because I hadn't been able to see Him in the tough times -- when my brother died, when our church split, during my grandmother's illness, or even at home in the fights. If He was so loving, where was He in the hard times? If He was so faithful, where was He when I needed him the most? If He was so real, why couldn't I feel Him when it really mattered? Where was he then?

A cold brisk wind caught me off guard, as the door swung open for us to begin the trek back home to the Dallas Ministry Center (DMC). The Opening Bell was amazing and our time there had been full of laughter and smiles as we swapped memorable stories and jokes over coffee.  As I glance back for one more picture of my new found friend the coffee shop, I can't help but notice that Kristin, the youngest in our group, is lingering behind at the very back of our pack. She looks so worn out and physically spent, I don't think she can take another step, let alone make the one mile journey all the way back to the DMC. Maybe I could help carry her or something. I know! A piggy-back ride!

As I'm treading to the DMC with Kristin mounted on my back, I begin to wonder how long I can actually survive carrying Kristin home. Can I possibly make it all the way?  What is it Lord?  Say it again.  The way I am carrying Kristin right now is how you carried me during the bad times?

Suddenly, tears came streaming down my face, as Kristin gently laid her head on my shoulder as if to say,  "I can't fight it anymore. I give up. Carry me home."  At that moment, the unbelievable and inconceivable love that He had been so desperately trying to show me was finally real. I couldn't make it.  I couldn't walk.  I couldn't continue, yet He carried me home.  I couldn't see Him or His love because I was fighting so hard. When I finally said, "I can't ... carry me," only then could see Him and only then could I know His love was real.